Life in Bitesize

Posts Tagged ‘santa

The health and safety brigade have found their next target – good old Father Christmas. Apparently he’s not a good role model, and they’ve accused him of promoting obesity and drink driving over the festive period. They claim that a fat, tipsy Father Christmas with no regard for health and safety sends out the wrong message to children, and they’d like to give him a makeover.

The tradition of leaving a glass of sherry out, they say, is promoting drink driving. With a few billion houses to visit at a rate of 1,400 per second, Santa would be over the legal drink-drive limit in a flash if he downed a 25ml measure of sherry with each delivery. By the end of the night he would be more than 47 million times over the limit.

They’ve also accused him of speeding. Taking time zones into account, Santa has about 31 hours to deliver an estimated 700 million gifts on Christmas Eve, and to accomplish this, his sleigh would need to be travelling at just under 1,600km (1,000 miles) a second, try that in a used car in Worcester! They also claim that he is never seen wearing a seatbelt or helmet and partakes in extreme sports such as roof surfing and chimney jumping.

Obesity is another charge – they claim he will consume around 31 billion calories in one night, quite enough to keep him going for the rest of the year…
So, poor Santa might be getting a makeover if they get their way. Somehow I can’t imagine any other image being quite as popular as the much-loved rotund version of our favourite icon.

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