Life in Bitesize

Posts Tagged ‘christmas

The health and safety brigade have found their next target – good old Father Christmas. Apparently he’s not a good role model, and they’ve accused him of promoting obesity and drink driving over the festive period. They claim that a fat, tipsy Father Christmas with no regard for health and safety sends out the wrong message to children, and they’d like to give him a makeover.

The tradition of leaving a glass of sherry out, they say, is promoting drink driving. With a few billion houses to visit at a rate of 1,400 per second, Santa would be over the legal drink-drive limit in a flash if he downed a 25ml measure of sherry with each delivery. By the end of the night he would be more than 47 million times over the limit.

They’ve also accused him of speeding. Taking time zones into account, Santa has about 31 hours to deliver an estimated 700 million gifts on Christmas Eve, and to accomplish this, his sleigh would need to be travelling at just under 1,600km (1,000 miles) a second, try that in a used car in Worcester! They also claim that he is never seen wearing a seatbelt or helmet and partakes in extreme sports such as roof surfing and chimney jumping.

Obesity is another charge – they claim he will consume around 31 billion calories in one night, quite enough to keep him going for the rest of the year…
So, poor Santa might be getting a makeover if they get their way. Somehow I can’t imagine any other image being quite as popular as the much-loved rotund version of our favourite icon.


I read a story today that the Police are charging £150 to help recover cars that have been abandoned due to the recent snowy weather. How mean is that?! I mean, it’s not like the people who were driving these cars intended to dump them, I’m sure they probably wanted to get home safely in their own cars. I actually had to leave my car in the snow, but luckily it was parked in a hotel car park, and they were happy for people to leave their cars. If they had charged me to leave the car, I think I would’ve told them where to go! Either that or get on to some solicitors in Kent to see if I had a case against them.

Where’s the Christmas spirit gone these days?


Over the past few years, pretty much all of my close friends have decided to have kids. Now while that’s very lovely, and they’re all really cute, the fact is Christmas now costs me a whole lot more than it used to. Another thing is, kids are so bloody fussy these days – take for example, one of my friends, who shall remain nameless, who’s little boy is 2 and a half. I asked her what was a good thing to get him for Christmas and this was her reply:

“Anything with trains – he LOVES trains!”

“Great!” I said, “I know Thomas, I can handle that”

“Oh no!” she exclaimed, “He can’t STAND Thomas, absolutely hates him!”

What?! Who hates Thomas the Tank Engine? He’s a legend!


Anyway, lucky I asked, or else there would have been some serious tears come Christmas morning.

So if you’ve got kids to buy for this year, and you’re pretty much clueless like me, then this list of the top ten toys may help you out of a sticky situation:

  • Bakugan Battle Pack, Spin Master from £19.75
  • Ben 10 Alien Force Kevins DX Action Cruiser from £19.47
  • GO GO Pets Hamsters from £9.78
  • GX Racers Tightrope Terror from £19.94
  • VTech Kidizoom Multimedia Digital Camera from £37.32
  • Lego Games Minotaurus from £14.86
  • Monopoly City from £21.99
  • Princess Peppa’s Palace from £29.99
  • Sylvanian Families – The Caravan from £34.99
  • Transformers Movie 2 Deluxe Figures from £13.34
  • Bendaroos Mega Pack from £22.43
  • Battle Strikers Starter Set from £9.99

Luckily for you, all of these toys are priced under £50 (actually considered ‘stocking fillers’ to today’s parents – what happened to a squashed clementine and some chocolate coins?) so you won’t have to break the bank. It’s nice to see some of the old classics on this year’s must-have list (Sylvanian Families rule!), even if they do have a slightly modern twist.

In the end I decided to get my friend’s son a non-brand specific train set (no ‘issues’ there I hope), but as it was only a fiver and actually slightly girly, I got him a model dumper truck as well, just to beef things up a bit. Here’s hoping he doesn’t take offence to DAF Trucks as well!

This year I have decided to make my own Christmas decorations. Not only will they be less expensive, but they’ll have that home-made touch as well.

One thing we always spend a lot of money on is crackers. Ok so they are good fun when you’re eating Christmas dinner, but once you’ve put on the silly hat, read out the terribly cringeworthy joke and played with the plastic toy for all of 5 seconds, the thrill is kinda over. I found this website called Simply Crackers where you can order kits to make your own crackers, and they’re really reasonably priced. Instead of tacky toys and jokes I’m going to add a forfeit for everyone to do to add a bit of fun, and some homemade festive chocolate shapes wrapped in foil. I’ll probably keep the hats though 😉


I also going to attempt to make a Christmas wreath. My parents insist on buying one every year to hang on the front door and they spend at least £25. Once Christmas is over it’s just chucked on the compost heap, so it’s a huge waste of money on something that only lasts a week anyway. We live next to some woods where there’s loads of holly and ivy growing so I can get a few cuttings from there. Then I’ll use some garden wire to twist and bind it all together, maybe chuck a couple of pine cones in there and finish it all off with some ribbon. Easy enough? We’ll see…

I love to decorate at work as well. It always brings a smile to my face in the morning when I walk in the office to see tinsel draped all over the computers and office desks. Definitely puts me in a good mood for the rest of the day!

If you have any other “Christmas on the Cheap” ideas, please share them with me!